Ship: Kakashi Hatake x Obito Uchiha

Genres: Romance – Humor – Slice of Life / One-shot

Rating: +16

Summary: « — Don’t come near me, don’t touch me, don’t look at me! »

Kakashi was melting; the last thing he needed was his fiery companion.

Enjoy!

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“Don’t you even touch me.”

“But… A cuddle?”

“Don’t come near me, don’t touch me, don’t look at me!”

Obito looked like a beaten dog. It had just as much effect on Kakashi as it would on any member of the Inuzuka clan. In other words, none at all.

How had he even thought it would work, given that he’d formed a contract with a pack of eight dogs?

“But…”

Still nothing. His partner merely watched him from a distance, his expression as cold as the temperatures he was currently dreaming of.

Of course, given their natural affinity with Katon, the Uchiha were not as affected by the heatwave as most of Konoha’s inhabitants, particularly civilians who could not or did not know how to manipulate their chakra to help their bodies protect themselves from dehydration and other weather-related discomforts, or even Suiton users who no longer had enough sweat to produce.

Kakashi did not have an affinity for Suiton, but it was one of the elements he had mastered, on a par with the other three. However, it was mainly his fair skin that made the sun his enemy.

So he shot a withering glance at his companion, who was attempting to bring their bodies closer together – an unsolicited move that he rebuffed with scathing remarks, whilst he still had the energy to do so.

And to think that less than a week ago, he’d still been in the Land of Snow! Had he known, not only would he have postponed his return from the mission by at least a week, if not longer, but above all, he would have rolled about in the powder snow until he turned blue with the cold!

Instead, he was in the process of turning into a puddle on the engawa of the family home, alongside a human hotplate craving physical affection.

Even more exhausted by the mounting pressures of the current situation, the jōnin quickly signed a jutsu, just enough to create a jet of water which he sprayed at the other centipede.

“That should cool your ardour,” he declared.

“My… Kashi!” he exclaimed.

In spite of himself, he opened one eye in his direction, making him regret all the more how the cold was numbing his limbs and sapping his libido. His soaking-wet companion was a real feast for the eyes, and he couldn’t even enjoy the view!

“Don’t treat me like a stubborn puppy!”

“Oh really? Well then, tell me what’s the difference between you and Bull at five months old?”

The puppy had really taken his growth spurt badly, affectionate as he was. That was, in fact, one of the reasons why Pakkun was perched on top of him, soothing his growing need for attention, even though his size and weight prevented him from seeking refuge in his summoner’s arms, as he’d been accustomed to doing when he was younger.

Obito, for his part, continued to look somewhere between charming and pitiful, with his outfit and hair now plastered to his skin, the fabric emphasising his body with a profusion of pleats, whilst he pouted, his eyes glistening – though not as a result of the jutsu.

Both of them knew it was mainly a war of nerves, and each was using their preferred method. Kakashi with his ocean of patience, Obito with his unrivalled stubbornness (and his body, of course).

“I said no. I don’t usually have to repeat myself. Even my ninken have understood that long ago!”

Sulking at being compared to his summons once again, Obito crossed his arms and turned his face away.

Admittedly, he’d understood his companion’s refusal perfectly well, and his reasons even more so. And it was true that, under normal circumstances, he’d have moved on.

However, it seemed that the sudden rise in temperature had ignited a different kind of fire in the members of his clan—himself included.

The birth rate was in for a surprise in nine months’ time…

He hadn’t given it much thought whilst watching couples of various ages chasing one another with hungry looks, or the closed doors and shutters, when he’d gone to say hello to his grandmother at the compound.

He’d been too young during the previous heatwave to understand.

Shisui had teased him in passing when he’d asked why he was in such a hurry – though then, Shisui had always been in a hurry – before disappearing himself, although Obito hadn’t had time to get a proper look at who had been with him.

It was only once he’d returned home, upon seeing his partner lounging on the engawa, that he understood a little better the strange phenomenon that had been taking place at the heart of the Uchiha compound, which now seemed to be taking hold of him, too.

Clearly, Kakashi hadn’t intended to be particularly seductive; he’d surely collapsed onto the first patch of fresh wood he’d come across, shedding as many layers as the neighbourhood would allow, replacing his ever-present mask with one of his open Icha Icha, thus covering the lower half of his face.

It was more of a pile of sweaty limbs mimicking a starfish than the attractive shinobi who’d kissed him during the fireworks a few years earlier, but that was no doubt what people meant when they said that love was blind.

Because right now, he found this starfish far more attractive than the handsome man who’d confessed his feelings at the Rinne Festival.

Or perhaps his last few brain cells had finally melted away, just as people had been threatening ever since his first fireball…

“What if I don’t touch you?” he tried to bargain.

The sceptical look he received drew another pout from him.

Well, he couldn’t say he was wrong; even he hadn’t quite convinced himself.

For his part, Kakashi was slowly beginning to consider the idea.

It wasn’t so much to give in and please him, but rather for his own sake.

The ‘wet T-shirt’ look had all but vanished in the combined heat, much to his regret, but it wasn’t as if his companion lacked interest the rest of the time. They’d known each other for years, had been intimate for some of them, and the charm still worked on him.

Except it was too hot to even raise an eyebrow.

So, something else…

His mouth curving into an amused smile of anticipation, he snapped his fingers, drawing attention to himself. He propped himself up slightly on his elbows, the book sliding away from his face.

“If you take me anywhere cooler than here, I might reconsider the matter. Perhaps.”

Obito sat up suddenly, almost at attention, as his gaze met that of the other man. The spark he saw there strengthened his resolve, and it wasn’t long before Kamui engulfed them both, the wood giving way to blocks of stone.

Although Kakashi had guessed that the technique was about to be summoned, he was a little disappointed that it wasn’t merely a means of transport to a cooler destination, and he pouted in turn.

“Is that all I deserve? The cave of a thousand pebbles?” he snorted.

Summoning all his exhausted strength, he sat up, brushing the tiny pebbles and bits of dirt that had clung to his bare skin away.

“It’s cool in here, and no one can interrupt us!” Obito protested.

Glancing at him unimpressed over his shoulder, his companion tried to run a hand through his damp locks to brush them away from his forehead, but it was a futile effort.

Meanwhile, the Uchiha had moved closer, sitting quietly within arm’s reach. He hadn’t particularly tried to be discreet – this wasn’t an ambush – but he obediently remained silent, stifling his impatience as best he could, whilst Kakashi had decided to tease him by taking his time, both of them perfectly aware of the other’s game.

“Are you planning to stay dressed?” the younger one finally blurted out.

An excited Obito was a clumsy, flustered Obito. Much to Kakashi’s delight, the shinobi immediately sprang to his feet and nearly toppled backwards several times as he shed his clothes, reminiscent of the child he’d once been in his awkward eagerness to obey.

But, fortunately, there was nothing left about him that reminded one of that child.

When he resumed his earlier position, with steam practically pouring from his nostrils, his companion had to hide the tender smile that had come over him at the sight, instead gesturing for him to come closer with a hand, which he did at once.

The skin beneath his touch was almost as clammy as his own. Being more resistant to heat did not mean the clan was entirely immune to it; a light sheen of sweat covered the golden skin.

For a civilian, this would no doubt have been a reason to pull back, but for two shinobi who’d done far worse in even more disastrous circumstances…

He leaned in to kiss him, but Obito was quicker than him, closing the distance between them before he could, pressing their lips together hastily.

No doubt this kiss would have lasted longer in other times.

But this time, Kakashi grabbed him by the nape of the neck, forcing him back, breaking the kiss, an amused sparkle dancing in the grey of his eyes whilst his partner’s eyes once again took on that crestfallen expression.

“Did you really think you were the one in charge? It looks like we’re going to have to start your training all over again…”

He was holding him with just one hand and was still in full control of himself, but Obito simply swallowed – whether out of embarrassment or excitement, he wasn’t quite sure yet – and waited to see what would happen next, suddenly more patient than ever.